Reader beware...I have NO idea where this post will head. Here we go...
hehe...lost my train of thought before I began it...hahahahahhaha...let's start with why I am sleep-deprived and sugar-laden...Jake is teething. My darling son likes to bring in several teeth all at once. Of this rather large batch (5), there are two still cutting through. He hasn't been sleeping well and seeing as how he sleeps with me...neither have I. At least I can simply roll over, plug him in (that would mean nurse him for those who don't know the lingo), and fall back to sleep. However, doing this numerous times a night gets exhausting. By day, he is in my arms, you guessed it, nursing a lot for comfort. Yup...I am dehydrating lol. I am trying to drink as much water today as I can.
I am also tired because I don't sleep well when I have sugar or white flour in my diet of which I have partaken a ton of lately.
How is that for an awkward sentence. I have gone a little overboard with eating the wrong stuff lately and after surfing onto Sarah Jane's blog: http://sarahjanesworld.bravejournal.com/ I have decided to add a Days without sugar category. Feel free to monitor it and nag me when it isn't looking good. On the flip side, you can cheer me on when I have days to post. As you will see today, I messed up, but that was BEFORE visiting her blog lol. I did think before I ate that it wasn't a good idea. Your typical indulging the flesh and ignoring the Spirit scenerio. Yes, i did ask the Lord to forgive me.
That leads me to my other category changes. I added how I am feeling in case you are wondering, a thought or something I am pondering and time spent writing (again, feel free to nag if nothing is posted there).
Speaking of writing...I have been writing more lately! God has been so awesome. A few weeks ago, I got on my face before the Lord and gave my writing and everything else to the Lord. I let go of my claim, my right to everything. Since then, I have written my first two queries to paying markets (no word, yet), dove back into my Christian Romantic Suspense, and am trying my hand at Christian Chick Lit.
It feels good to be writing again. I hope to finish my first novel before the end of the year, but again, I am following the Lord's leading.
My parents were here for a visit recently. I knew my mom and I needed to talk about some things so I prayed that if they were meant to come...God would provide the finances for them. He did, they did and we did. hehehehe We went out for iced tea (something we have done for years) and I brought up the subjects (praying for the Lord's wisdom the whole time). God was so faithful to guide me. Mom had some valid concerns about some issues such as my home educating and parenting skills.
She was surprised I brought it up. She had been worried I would get upset and become defensive. I didn't and we had a great talk. The Lord has truly made some changes in my life and that conversation was evidence...I was so thankful for His wisdom and grace. The bottom line is simply: it isn't about me and my way. I have given it to the Lord and He is now in control..where He leads, I will follow. I am still having to crucify my flesh, but He is meeting me there and helping me overcome.
She assured me I was a good mother, but lacking in some areas. I assured her I knew that lol. Oh boy do I know where I am lacking, but praise God that He fills in those areas where we are lacking which quite frankly are ALL areas. When we humble ourselves, when we feel broken and empty...it is that point where we ask Him to work through us, rebuild us and fill us with Himself. Guess what?! He is faithful to do just that.
I think I shared on here a while ago about a vision I keep seeing. Basically, it is a vision of me on my knees before the Lord. Sometimes I am bent over crying out to Him and othertimes I am praising Him with my arms outstretched. I find myself more and more not just visualizing that, but actually doing it. I want to completely surrender to my Jesus.
Well, told you it would be rambly lol. Talk to you again soon.