Good question. I have no idea what I have done for the past month and few days. I mean...not in any detail anyway. We did go camping with some friends which was a blast. We played games, chatted, watched the kids play, sang...just really enjoyed ourselves. I fell asleep to the sound of a river rushing nearby and woke to the river and a whole chorus from a variety of birds. It was beautiful! Restful.
The past month or so, I have been focusing on my home and home education more. The kids got some new curriculum which they love (still have more to order) and God has given me a new desire to teach these children a variety of knowledge as well as spiritual life-changing things as the Spirit leads.
I have cut my online time down a bunch as it took too much from my family, from my Heavenly Father and from myself. I really didn't like how important the online world had become. Now I find I get restless (same when I think of watching movies or something) and would rather choose something like going for a walk, playing games with the family, going to the park, or reading something to challenge me to grow in Christ. That might be a clue as to why I have been quiet lately.
Another clue is that God has been working on me with some things and I have been in a bit of turmoil. It can be uncomfortable and even painful when God works at purging things from deep inside which has to happen before He can pour His life and love in and through us. For now, I am entering a season of quiet where I am pondering what He is teaching me. I am beginning to learn to quit struggling against the process and allow it to unfold. I am trying to release the fear I have had and trust God with everything.
The other night, I got on my face before the Lord and just poured out my heart and I felt His love wash over me. It was so precious...He really just wants to be my daddy. He wants to guide, nurture, laugh with, cry with and be a part of everything. He wants to flow in and through me without me shutting parts of myself off from Him. I am trying to embrace that. God is so faithful to meet us where we are. Isn't it awesome that we don't have to do a thing to get Him to love us...He simply does. As we give up ourselves and allow Him to work, the things we do begin to line up with who we are becoming in Christ.
If you are striving to be perfect or your 'best' for the Lord...I encourage you to stop. You don't have to do the work...you simply have to be willing to follow His leading. He will guide you and you simply follow like sheep after a Shepherd. He will lead you to the green pastures and the life-giving water. Nothing you could ever strive to create for yourself will ever come close to what He will give you when you obey Him.
Those desires in your heart for yourself, for your husband, for your children...He will exceed anything you can imagine if you give them over to Him. I am not saying the process is easy...it isn't. It is often painful, confusing, even lonely but He is more than enough to sustain you and the reward is glorious.
Well, I didn't see where my post was heading until I got there lol. I pray it blesses somebody today. I will post again soon.