I wasn't able to really give the challenge my attention the past few days, although I found myself trying to be careful and not say anything negative about Bob to him or to anyone else. Today, I decided to catch up in the challenge by writing a letter and hitting the various points. I ended up sharing some things from my heart, too. Here's the letter.
Dear Bob (My dearest Bob, My darling Bob..hehe...I know how you LOVE this mushy stuff),
It is so much easier to write my compliments then
to say them in person. I wish I could speak as freely
as I can write. Here are some things I love about
I love your creativity when it comes to solutions to
some of my problems or struggles or when I can't
seem to get a concept across to the kids. I love
watching how your mind works when your working
on a computer related project or when you have
ideas for like the Survivor video, Micheal's 'dancing'
video, etc. I love watching others praise your efforts,
too. You deserve to be recognized for your talents.
I also appreciate your financial wisdom. I know right
now our finances are rocky, but I trust that you will
keep us going. I only wish I could help you somehow
and maybe at some point I can do more than simply try
to not spend the money. I enjoy knowing you have the
family's best interest in mind and won't ever intentionally
hurt us when it comes to finances. I love to watch you
process how we should handle things in this area. I can't
wait for the day when you have money to invest with
and I can watch your mind work the angles for the best
time to get in or out of stocks and stuff. Your intelligence
is one of the things I admire and long to see used by the
Lord someday. I do think we should study what the Bible
says about money on our own...not books or teachings and
prayerfully consider what that means for our family and our
finances. I think there could be a spiritual connection God
wants to bring to our attention.
Another thing I treasure about you is your loyalty. I can safely
trust that you will be faithful in our marriage and I admire you
when you keep your word/commitments with others. Thank
you for giving me a marriage free of fear that you will be
unfaithful...I know my heart is safe with you. I look
forward to the day when you commit to the Lord as you've
committed to me. Just as it has taken time for you to come
to know me and my ways, it will take time for you to come to
know God and his ways. Once you make that commitment, I'll
enjoy watching the Lord work through you...you will be as loyal
to him as you are to me someday.
This challenge I'm doing has been really neat. I know you can do
without the compliments, but at the same time, I find they still
work on you. They make you smile or put you in a playful mood
as you indulge me.
Something even better happens when I compliment you and as I
go about doing this challenge. I find myself thinking about your
positive traits more, finding myself wanting to lift you up rather
than to be negative, find myself focusing on all of your wonderful
qualities and being quicker to overlook your not so wonderful
ones...as few as they may be. I love you sweetie and I look
forward to many more wonderful years exploring the many layers
Now back to your regularly non-mushy program.
I don't know what his response was/is to my letter yet, but I know he has no doubts about how much I love and respect him. Isn't that all that matters? I love being married to him.